Freedom v Anxiety

12 Mar, 2021

Prior to the 22^nd February Government announcement, I had been skipping a lot of the news bulletins because they never seem to bring good news, there is so much negativity from the reporters and I’m always left with a sense of doom that gives me a restless night.  But the 22^nd was a biggie wasn’t it? 

It was a relief when Boris confirmed schools would be retuning on 8^th March (I would have liked sooner but I’ll take what I can get!)  I’m pleased we have some sort of ‘roadmap’ (I hate that term!) for getting out of lockdown and that there is some light at the end of the tunnel – I’ll be able to see my family in Wales again including my 93 year old Grandparents who I’ve not seen since February last year, go to my local pub, see a good friend finally get married to the girl of his dreams, take the children on day trips, meet friends for coffee, celebrate my hubbie’s 40^th properly, go on our postponed camping trip and enjoy shopping in actual shops again!

Well, the schools are now back, my daughter had settled in absolutely fine and my working day is now mine to focus on.  It’s been a really, really tough couple of months of juggling hasn’t it? 

But, there is a tiny bit of me that is also a bit scared about the world opening up again.  In no particular order here are the things I’m a tad worried about:

Driving – I’ve never been a big fan of driving really so I’ve certainly loved the roads being a bit quieter, being able to park easily at the supermarket and not having to queue up anywhere.  Having done the school run this morning, I can confirm, it’s like Wacky Races out there again!

My kids in public – To be blunt, my kids are now feral.  They have enjoyed rather a lot of free reign at home and I seriously fear how they will be in public spaces.  The thought of a meal out in a restaurant with them fills me with horror. 

Actually having to do things on the weekend– We have become so used to not having anything particular to do and a lazier pace to our weekends, I don’t know how we’ll manage trying to cram in day trips, swimming lessons, walks, birthday parties and playdates.  I think we’ll be exhausted within the first month! 

Getting out on time – For a family of early risers our timings have got very relaxed over the last 6 months.  Our weekend breakfasts are decidedly later than they used to be.  A 9am appointment on a weekend is going to throw us!

Being a single parent from time to time – Pre-Covid with a hubbie that worked away a lot I would regularly look after my children on my own, get them up and dressed, do both school and nursery drop off/pick up, do bath times and put both kids to bed.  Now however, I’ve grown used to (and the kids are used to) both parents being around all the time.  Whilst that may continue for a bit longer, it will change eventually. How on earth will I juggle all the things I used to previously?  I’m so out of practice (and frankly, my kids seem to have the upper hand these days!)

Forgetting the things I actually enjoyed about lockdown – I think I fit into a bracket of people that largely haven’t minded lockdown too much.  Yes it’s now pretty tedious and lack of schooling has been hell but those things aside it’s actually afforded me more work opportunities because of less travel and use of tech, more time to myself to start running again three mornings a week because of support from my hubbie and more time to focus on our home environment and what we want to use it for.  I’m definitely worried that as life opens out again, those things will fall by the wayside as we start to get busier.  How do I make sure that doesn’t happen?

Being in public –I’ve quite liked quieter supermarkets and not having to be too close to people.  Eventually however things will change.  We won’t be constantly sectioned off by a red line on the ground and barriers outside shops.  Will people be jumpy if you go near them?  How will people feel about children being around especially as they are likely to be the single group of unvaccinated amongst us fairly shortly?  We are actually going to have to get used to….contact…..!   

So my question is, “Is anyone else a bit scared?”  I think that’s ok isn’t it? To be a bit nervous.  We’ve been living with restrictions for so long and living this bizarre ‘distanced life’ for so long I’ve forgotten how to cope with normal life.   However, if I’ve learnt one thing throughout all of this it’s how amazing we all are at adapting and with a phenomenal amount of speed as well.  We adapted to lockdown life and I’ve no doubt we’ll adapt to the re-opening. So here’s to a less socially distanced life, just around the corner!